Lowry’s Street Scene & The 100th Post

– Crossing the lines

Well, I’ve done it. It’s official – this is my 100^th post. And I’m gonna celebrate by ceasing from blogging…for a spell. The fact is, this blog was originally started as an elaborate alternative to a suicide note, or rather, a ‘message in a portal’ if by chance I was to die prematurely…that and the fact I needed a place to practice my spelling, punctuation and sentence structures. It’s not that I thought I would die per se. It’s just that it occurred to me – last October – that without family, children or husbands (ex or otherwise), if I were to die, no one would have known who I was, what I liked to eat, what made me smirk; sad; vexed; inspired. How would the kind strangers, teachers, carers, employers and friends who have embellished my life along the way, know that I knew their worth? It occurred to me, that once my estate was handed over to Barnardo's – the children's charity that saved me – as is set out in my will. There would be nothing left, nothing left of me, nothing left to accompany the published poems.

It’s not that I thought my life was interesting, special or noteworthy. It’s just that like many others, I have spent large swathes of my life being misunderstood. I suppose you could say: I am more afraid of being misunderstood than I am of death.

So I did what I do – I wrote. And a hundred posts later; here I am…still alive, with better grammar, a half-decent blog, and you.

I need to stop writing for a bit now. I have to maintain what I have made – my labels are a hot mess and I need to update my links 'n' shit. Boring stuff, but stuff that needs to be done proper – how I do’s it. There’s also stuff that needs to be done if others are to find me, like how you did.

So, while I take this short break (certainly no longer than a week) to do routine maintenance, I leave you with my favourite L.S. Lowry picture, Street Scene (above). A couple of years back, I contemplated buying this picture – went as far as getting a representative to call the dealer and negotiate a price. I love it you see. But, something inside said: Don’t look at life, as you once knew it, live it as you once dreamt it. Besides, it was well-fucking expensive for what is fundamentally a fucking doodle.

Oh! And here are some darn good blogs I suggest you read in my absence:

Mccaffery

A Misplaced Boy

Not Worth Mentioning!

The Japing Ape

The Clean White Page

Eccentricity

 Holla…

- Cheyelle

Ps. Please don’t overfeed the fish.

COPYRIGHT ©2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: CHEYELLE OMAR

The Bachelorette Menus - Menu 4

Meals for confirmed bachelors & bachelorettes...

Sweet and Fire Prawns

When I lived on the old farmstead in Algeria – with my nana – we used to recite a little food inspired ditty, it went a bit like this: We ain’t black, we ain’t Caucasian, but when it comes to food we sure loves Asian. Okay, we never really said that…never…not even once. However, for this installment of the Bachelorette Menus, I am going to bring you an Asian inspired platter for your delectation.




What you need is…

1-2         Packet(s) of tempura prawns from your local supermarket

1            Bottle of sweet chilli dipping sauce

1            Bottle of Encona hot sauce

1            Pkt of ready to eat samosas (optional)

The ingredients for this finger licking dish are on the pricey side; so do shop around for budget range crustaceans if you’re feeling the squeeze of the recession. For my part, I’ve opted to wash less and stay in more in order to maintain my preference for good quality seafood. As most of the ingredients are pre-prepared, you won’t have to worry about the time constrains of actually prepping, cooking and cleaning – honestly, this dish is so easy to make even Richard Reid (the shoe bomber) could pull it off.

How I do’s it…

• Heat king prawns/jumbo shrimp as directed on packaging.
• Fill a ramekin (I use an eggcup) ¼ of the way up with Encona hot sauce.
• Fill the remainder of the receptacle with the sweet chilli sauce (to taste).
• Stir.
• Line a bowl with kitchen roll (to soak up excess oil from the prawns).
• Open pre-cooked samosas and layout on plate (as pictured below).

And hey presto! It’s done. In fact, I had the dish two nights ago whilst watching a five-part drama about a cross-dressing Muslim, on BBC iPlayer. I generally opt to have this meal when I fancy finger food, or I want to impress an unsuspecting suitor with my cooking prowess.

I recommend you have this dish with a glass of homemade pineapple juice with umbrellas and sparklers in it. However, if like me, you've rarely got the time for all that DIY folly – I recommend you have the seafood fare with a lovely glass of Rubicon mango juice with plenty of ice (like how I do’s it).

An ‘O-mar-God tip’ for all you bachelors & bachelorettes out there: If all the fussing around with wrapping, kitchen roll and stirring in the main course has left you too flustered to prepare a dessert, I suggest you serve the dish with a delicious Bounty bar (or a Hershey’s Almond Joy, if you live stateside). – Perfect for sharing with a special someone or a perfect reminder of who needs a “special someone,” when being single means you get to have both pieces all to yourself. – Yama, Yama, Yama.

Enjoy…

And remember, if “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels*” then why are bulimics always feeling sick? – Hey!

- Cheyelle Omar

* A controversial quote recently made by British supermodel Kate Moss

COPYRIGHT ©2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: CHEYELLE OMAR

“Don’t fuck with old senior citizens…

…They’ll surprise you once in a while.”

The Masticating Lady

The title of this post is a quote from the 67-year-old “star” of the latest YouTube video to go viral. Some have said that the video exemplifies racial tensions in America. The video shows two “gentlemen” getting into an altercation on an AC Transit bus. However, I’m less interested in the rights and wrongs of the two protagonists – an elderly white gentleman dubbed Epic Beard Man, and a younger black gentleman nicknamed, Young Black Dude. What’s interesting to me, are the reactions of the passengers on the bus, who on the whole, act as though nothing is happening.

For those who haven’t already seen the video, I warn you now: this video does contain graphic images of violence and is unsuitable for minors and those of a sensitive disposition (I’ve always wanted to say that).

As I see it, the video has less to do with race and more to do with stupidity. Young Dude shoulda known better than to fuck with old boy - them old folks been through wars and shit; and I don’t mean Call of Duty 4 on an Xbox 360. Ain't he seen Gran Torino!? – Duh!

What strikes me about the video is the pluckiness of The Masticating Lady in the blue top and white trainers/sneakers. I’ve yet to see or read anything that highlights her laudable response to the volatile situation. Yes, she laughs it off at first. But by intervening and trying to stop the fight from escalating – when it would've been far easier for her not to get involved, or worse still, encourage the violence like the two idiots filming – she exhibits a level of courage I find hard to ignore. 

I hope good things come to her, for me she really is the star of the video. I hope one day she won’t have to ride the bus anymore. I really, really do.

- Cheyelle

COPYRIGHT ©2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: CHEYELLE OMAR

The Million Pound Motor

- And its one thousand buck doppelgänger

Here’s a picture of the 1 million pound, Italian supercar the Zonda Tricolore. The car is due to be unveiled at the Geneva Motor Show (4^th–14^th March 2010). According to the makers of the car – Pagani – the jet planes of the Italian air force’s aerobatic team were the inspiration behind the vehicle. The car/wannabe-jet can go from 0-62mph in just 3.4 seconds; comes with blue sports seats, special carbon fibre finish to its bodywork, and can max out at a whiplash-inducing 220mph (click here for the science bit). And for those who pride themselves on originality, the car is a complete one-off  – the Joneses wouldn’t be able to keep up with you even if they could afford to.

I don’t have a million pounds; bucks; or even M&M’s right now and I can’t drive, so I’m looking at it from purely an aesthetics point of view. Nevertheless, the “supercar” does look a bit like a suped-up/pimped-out TR7 to me (pictured below).

It's probably a girl thing or the fact, that for a million quid/bucks, I’d expect the car to not only get me from A to B without me having to actually drive it…or park it! – I’d also expect the car to come with an en suite toilet and be capable of wiping my arse, not to mention walking the dog and doing the same for him. 

I guess Knight Rider’s got a lot to answer for…

- Cheyelle Omar

COPYRIGHT ©2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: CHEYELLE OMAR