full-blown LUVS…

Sunday, October 04, 2009

        

I had a dream. It wasn’t much of a dream. In fact, I’m not sure it was a dream at all.

I had a relationship. It wasn’t really a relationship. It could have been a relationship, I wouldn’t know; what are they?

Twice I have been loved – twice…almost to death. So, what if  ‘love’ isn’t such a healthy thing. What if ‘love’ is an illness? What if ‘love’ is mental illness; a type of psychosis? Having only ever been the victim of ‘love’ and not the perpetrator, I do possess (just like heroin) a healthy academic interest in feeling it. However, due to the aforementioned past experiences, I also harbour an absolute terror of someone inflicting ‘it’ on me again.

So, given that other people seem to feel it (love) for me and I never for them, perhaps ‘love’ isn’t a mental illness at all. It is my assertion that ‘love’ is in fact a viral; a virus to be lived with, much like one might live with HIV or be the partner of someone who has HIV.  I would further suggest, my "viral" hypothesis could explain why some people become infected, while others, like myself do not. It could also be argued that someone like myself may possess a natural immunity and/or people who ‘love’ others with a real perfervid ‘love’, have actually made the transition from being LOV-positive, to developing full-blown LUVS.

I concede my ‘love-as-a-viral’ postulation may seem somewhat bleak, if not a little jaded. But the thing is…I’m not sure I want anyone to give me ‘love’, or I in return get it and spread it to someone else. Speaking as a failed academic, child, writer, partner, friend, person, cyber-pet owner. – It would appear to me, the world is in fact rife with ‘love’. We are possibly in the midst of a ‘love’ pandemic, and yet such unhappiness, isolation, fear, death.

Therefore I conclude, without any basis in scientific fact or discernible research, and purely because I happened to be bored one lazy Sunday afternoon and wanted to test-drive Microsoft Word’s punctuation assistant, that the only cure to ‘love’ is actually stuff like: kindness, generosity, humour, wisdom, curiosity, honesty, loyalty…but mainly, just kindness. - It’s what I wanna procure in myself and if I’m really lucky, be given by others when the LUVS goin’ round.

- Cheyelle

Mission Statement

If you look down at me, you see a fool. If you look up at me, you see a God. If you look straight at me, you see yourself.  -  Charles Manson.

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