In a perfect world…

• Whoopi Goldberg would have been the first black woman to win an Oscar for Best Actress.
• I’d have perfect pins.
• Dogs would live in excess of 40 years.
• ALL Caribbean food would count as part of your five-a-day.
• Meat would grow on trees.
• Computers would be faster.
• Sex and The City: The Movie would have been better.
• Everyone would accept that the Israeli/Palestinian conflict is OUR problem.
• Shaheen Jafargholi would have won Britain’s Got Talent.
• My friend Kemal would sing in the Eurovision Song Contest.
• I'd be going to Netherworld next Saturday with Skittles and Candy from sweetaddictionstv.
• Successful people would stop friggin saying: “never give up on your dreams”.
• Liverpool’s Cruise Liner Terminal would have cruise ship ‘turnaround’ status.
• BBC2 still showed Oprah.
• The “beach-ball” goal had been disallowed.
• People would refrain from slating other people’s spelling and punctuation…on frikkin YOUTUBE comments - CHILLAX!
• I could afford a second home in Mostaganem, Algeria, Africa.
• Alice Walker would win the Nobel Prize in Literature.
• People would stop making a martyr out of Nick Griffin - let him have his say.
• Academics would STOP assuming I’ve got ‘A’ levels. – I HAVEN’T!
• SUBWAY still did the carbohydrate-free wraps.