1) …you ain’t got no family what-so-ever, and your “close friends” forget to wish you a 'happy birthday' on the big day…two years on the bounce…
2) …you’re eating a lovely Benecol raspberry yogurt…on your birthday…that everyone forgot…and you pull from your mouth what you believe is a very large raspberry seed, but turns out is a rock-hard, dead, beetle. AS GOD IS MY WITNESS!
3) …you ain’t got no degree, no A-levels and are dyslexic, and yet for some strange reason you CHOOSE to be a writer – one of the most academic vocations going. Only to be confronted with the extra problem; your computer frikkin spell-checker is preprogrammed to be in AMERICAN ENGLISH!!! – Which is great if you’re an American dyslexic, but a logistical fucking nightmare if you’re a British dislexik. Oh, the lost hours I will never get back.
4) …you get blamed – as child – for defacing portraits of your mother's boyfriend…but you NEVER DID IT…and then you end up in Dr. Barnardo’s (a childrens' charity)…so you never ever get to find out who REALLY did it…and fifteen years later you still lay in bed – during the fragile hours – wondering...WHO THE FUCK DID IT!?!
5) …the only picture you have of your father is the one in your head; from when you was little. But you remember him being a nice man. And that he had red hair and a wart on the knuckle of his middle finger - the finger that you pulled when he did ‘finger farts’.
6) …you have to hide in a garage with two dogs and a cat on an ice-cold winter's evening because the loan shark that your ex-boyfriend borrowed money from might be coming to get you.
7) …the Amitriptylin don’t make you trip no more.
8) …you write to Myspace to ask them to feature your profile, to get more traffic directed to your blog, and they reply with an automated response.
9) …Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue get to be Judges on The X Factor, but someone like Beverley Knight (a proper singer) doesn’t quite make the grade.
10) …British people say all Americans are dumb, and all Americans assume British people are polite.
11) …you go round feeling sorry for yourself – believing you’ve had it hard – when, if Victoria Climbie, Shaniya Davis or Baby “P” were alive right now, they would, in all probability, and despite everything, be playing.
12) …you run out of people to believe in.
13) …you write a 'Don’t You Hate It When…' list, only to get to the end of it and realize, it wont change a thing, but you owe it to the children to keep on playing.
- Cheyelle Omar
2) …you’re eating a lovely Benecol raspberry yogurt…on your birthday…that everyone forgot…and you pull from your mouth what you believe is a very large raspberry seed, but turns out is a rock-hard, dead, beetle. AS GOD IS MY WITNESS!3) …you ain’t got no degree, no A-levels and are dyslexic, and yet for some strange reason you CHOOSE to be a writer – one of the most academic vocations going. Only to be confronted with the extra problem; your computer frikkin spell-checker is preprogrammed to be in AMERICAN ENGLISH!!! – Which is great if you’re an American dyslexic, but a logistical fucking nightmare if you’re a British dislexik. Oh, the lost hours I will never get back.
4) …you get blamed – as child – for defacing portraits of your mother's boyfriend…but you NEVER DID IT…and then you end up in Dr. Barnardo’s (a childrens' charity)…so you never ever get to find out who REALLY did it…and fifteen years later you still lay in bed – during the fragile hours – wondering...WHO THE FUCK DID IT!?!
5) …the only picture you have of your father is the one in your head; from when you was little. But you remember him being a nice man. And that he had red hair and a wart on the knuckle of his middle finger - the finger that you pulled when he did ‘finger farts’.
6) …you have to hide in a garage with two dogs and a cat on an ice-cold winter's evening because the loan shark that your ex-boyfriend borrowed money from might be coming to get you.
7) …the Amitriptylin don’t make you trip no more.
8) …you write to Myspace to ask them to feature your profile, to get more traffic directed to your blog, and they reply with an automated response.
9) …Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue get to be Judges on The X Factor, but someone like Beverley Knight (a proper singer) doesn’t quite make the grade.
10) …British people say all Americans are dumb, and all Americans assume British people are polite.
11) …you go round feeling sorry for yourself – believing you’ve had it hard – when, if Victoria Climbie, Shaniya Davis or Baby “P” were alive right now, they would, in all probability, and despite everything, be playing.
12) …you run out of people to believe in.
13) …you write a 'Don’t You Hate It When…' list, only to get to the end of it and realize, it wont change a thing, but you owe it to the children to keep on playing.
- Cheyelle Omar
COPYRIGHT ©2009 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: CHEYELLE OMAR
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