The Bachelorette Menus – Menu 3

Meals for confirmed bachelors & bachelorettes...

The “I’ve nearly had one thousand hits on my website” addition

It is with complete incredulity and a deep sense of appreciation that I have noticed the hits on this site is approaching the 1000 mark. I can’t believe that that many people have found me in less than 2 months. Who knew not having any family whatsoever, and only a handful of close friends (only one of whom know I write this blog) would have the fortuitous side effect of confirming that the 1000 hits must have come from complete strangers! Fank-you for finding me. - This one's for YOU…

The Koka-Noodle-Do

(Can I take your order please…?)

I’m lucky; I live in Liverpool. – I call it the city that never wakes. – Cos just like New York, another of my favourite cities, this city never sleeps either. Plus, I live on the best block in the whole world: There’s a 24hr off-licence (drugstore) which bizzarrely, is only open 20hrs a day, and a pretty decent Chinese restaurant (I think it’s the oldest in the city) which is open till the wee hours, and a beauty parlour/hair salon that’s open Sundays, and also a very discreet swingers club round the back taboot. – Best neighbours ever! But not every bachelor/bachelorette lives in a 24hr town. So this week, I’m bringing you take-out you cook-in!

What you need is…

1     Packet of prawn or curry Koka noodles (the freeze-dried “just add water” type)
1    Tin of anchovies or a handful of frozen prawns (the small type)
      A little bit of finely grated cheese (I use Parmesan or Cheddar)
      Hot sauce (I like Tabasco)

The ingredients for this twist on classic Chinese noodles can be kept in the cupboard for MONTHS. So there really isn’t any need to worry about perishables. Just knock-up this cookout, whenever the urge takes you. And don’t worry about the cooking of the noodles either – because you just add water and boil – honestly, this dish is so easy even the cast of The Hills could pull it off!

How I do’s it…

• Take 5 fillets of anchovies out of the tin. Or
• Defrost the little prawns thoroughly as directed on packaging.
• Get some kitchen-roll/paper-towel and remove any excessive oil from the anchovies.
• Cook noodles as directed on packaging (an ‘O-mar-God’ tip: add slightly less water than suggested in the instructions; there is absolutely NOTHING worse than a limp noodle – can I get an Amen from all the bacheloretts in the house!).
• Add the prawns to the pan toward the end of the cooking process if going for the prawn option.
• Once cooked, plate-up the noodles.
• If going for the anchovy option, place anchovies on top of noodles in a  tick-tac-toe/noughts & crosses formation (as pictured).
• Lightly sprinkle the grated cheese over the top.
• Apply the hot sauce (I like a lot!)

And wham-bam it’s done! In fact, I had it late last night after chatting to one of my homies on the dog & bone (phone). I tend to have this meal either for dinner, tea or as a midnight snack (which in my case means around 4am). The chow is a perfect accompaniment whilst shopping on-line, reading, watching YouTube videos or chilling-out in your crib wondering whether wall-to-wall shag pile will ever make a come-back.

I recommend you have this dish with a glass of homemade ginger beer (which ironically, when I make it, does not taste too dissimilar from Saké). However, if like me, you rarely got the time for all that homespun phooey. I recommend you reach down to your local 24hr garage for a can of Jamaican Ginger Beer (like how I do’s it).

Being as this is the, “I’ve nearly had one thousand hits on my website” addition, I’m gonna give you more than just a cherry to conclude…I’m gonna give you a whole bowl of strawberries goddamn it! Make sure you wash ‘em good and sprinkle them with sugar, but do not, I repeat DO NOT remove the stems unless: A. You’re gonna have the strawb’s with cream or something or B. The stems are in a poor state. Cos haven’t you ever noticed, the stems on strawberries are like perfect little green lace doilies for you to pick up the fruit with! – That’s just how Mother Nature (also a confirmed Bachelorette) do’s it.

One final ‘O-mar-god tip’ for all you bachelors and bachelorettes out there: If you are planning on making this dish for when someone special comes over. I recommend you go easy on the fish (there will be time for that later), share the noodles, and double-up on the quantities of ice, sugar and luscious strawberries – Eeoowww!

Enjoy…

Cheyelle


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