…Is:
I’m lazy. I’m very rarely wrong.
I got the ‘fuck it’ gene. – It don’t matter whether it’s bootleg friends, bad service, fake men, or a whole goddamn country that’s getting on my last nerve; if I get to the point where my ‘fuck it’ gene comes into play, all bets are off.
Commas and apostrophes confuse the hell out of me. It’s one of the reasons I almost never wrote this blog; I was loath to leave evidence of me practicing my punctuation…but then I thought, fuck it!
One day I’ll be fat. Personally, I’ve always thought fat little old ladies are way cuter than skinny ones, anyway.
If you ask me a question that's none of your goddamn business, I’ll lie to you. To protect myself, I’ll lie to you. If I don’t respect you, I’ll lie to you.
I’m brutally honest.
I’ve never cheated on a man.
I believe we are ALL one bad decision away from jail, and when it comes to the prisons in our minds, we are ALL just on day-release.
I believe life is supposed to be hard.
I’m inexperienced…sexually.
I’m loyal.
Poor people think I'm posh and posh folks can tell I'm ghetto.
I’m a loner.
I will live my whole life looking back. Anyone who tells me I should do it differently, can’t really see me.
Someone knocking at the door frightens the life out of me.
I still lick my plate when I’m hungry and cuff my nose when I’m fluey. I have, however, over time, learnt how to play it like a lady. A word to the wise: before you insult a posh person, always prefix it with: “With the greatest of respect…” Dunno why, but that shit works.
I still lick my plate when I’m hungry and cuff my nose when I’m fluey. I have, however, over time, learnt how to play it like a lady. A word to the wise: before you insult a posh person, always prefix it with: “With the greatest of respect…” Dunno why, but that shit works.
I dream of living in a house with no front door.
Being a bad singer never stopped me from singing. Being a bad speller never stopped me from writing. Being a bad lover never stopped me from loving.
People think I’m strong.
I LOVE counting money.
I LOVE counting money.
Violence always seems to find me.
I like The Queen – without a family of my own, that little old lady gives me stability.
I struggle to read long books.
I’ve never had a one-night stand.
- Cheyelle Omar
COPYRIGHT ©2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: CHEYELLE OMAR
Posts
You've got very pinchable cheeks as well! I hope you acquire a family over time. I bet the queen would love to adopt you. If she doesn't, I will.
ReplyDeleteYou know what?
ReplyDeleteYou sound alright in my book :-)
and PS i LOVE licking the plate!!!
In some countries it's a sign of respect but truth be told i'm not doing it for respect - i'm doing it cos i LOVE the food!!!!!!
I'm really happy I found your blog..commas and apostrophes......fuck em. I don't get then either.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to so much of this. I'm a loner, I got the fuck it gene and I'm more prone to gain weight than lose it. lol! This statement especially:
ReplyDelete"If you ask me a question that's none of your goddamn business, I’ll lie to you. To protect myself, I’ll lie to you. If I don’t respect you, I’ll lie to you."
Exactly. But, my experience is people get uppity about the above statement regardless of the fact that they've done the same and actually, most of the time even when someone is asking me a horribly intrusive question, I'm not exactly lying--I'm being vague and not really answering at all. Which according to very nosy people is the same as lying (it is not).
I'm so glad we met Cheyelle...and who gives a fuck about an oxford comma! ;-)
you're like me.
ReplyDeleteonly tougher.
@gorilla: Ha! You're a 'cheek squeezer' - I can tell cos people been squeezing my cheeks my ENTIRE LIFE! ;o)
ReplyDelete@foxworth: Acceptance is a wonderful thing - thanks for condoning my plate licking. *Loves it*
@SWO: I'm happy you're a part of my blog too!! Let's share our "good vibrations" forever…hehehe.
@eccentricity: "Ain't nobody's business if I do" - Billie Holiday.
One brilliant writer (AW) and one cool song later, here we are, supporting each other…ain't God clever.
@margg: You're like me.
Only you don't know how tough you can be…yet. ;o)