The Monday Service: A Commemorative Con

-An Insider’s Guide to Fool Britannia

Weighty Katy

I have to confess I found the suggestion of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding invitation snub of the Obamas, rather delicious. It was such a quintessentially British upper-class way of saying: “Fuck-you and take your poxy iPod with you”.

But karma can be a bitch. Cos funnier still, was the recent Royal commemorative £5 coin, released by the Royal Mint. The con coin, which was supposed to depict the future king and queen, looked nothing like them. The coinage portrays an overly chiselled Prince William and a positively rotund Kate Middleton – less Waity Katy and more Weighty Katy. Normally I wouldn’t be so critical, but the £5 Alderney coin – approved by Her Majesty The Queen – can cost over one thousand five hundred British smackeroonies!

Seems to me there must have been a closet Obama stan working at the royal forge, who must have taken exception to the President’s perceived snub, so exacted revenge on the regal lovebirds by depicting them as Robert Van Winkle (aka Vanilla Ice, pictured) and Faith Evans.

In conclusion, I’ve only got one thing to say to the ‘artists’ that created the ghastly commemorative piece: 

Sorry, but that coin isn’t very nice nice baby.

-Cheyelle

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