–Reptiles & Genitals
The title of this post, in English, means: Come In, My friends (I think?).
Apologies for not posting any pictures of my current maison (that’s French for: house) sooner, but I wanted to upload an episode of my smash-hit podcast – Cheyelle Omar: The Podigal Daughter – first. And then, last night, I watched the most fantastic documentary about assisted suicide, on BBC iPlayer. The documentary was called Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die. Seriously, get into it; it was absolutely fascinating. Then, between: swimming (I've traded in my armbands for a life jacket, pictured below), movie watching, eating, sleeping, grocery shopping, jogging, walking, and picking up my dogs’ shit – the time has flown by.
Apologies for not posting any pictures of my current maison (that’s French for: house) sooner, but I wanted to upload an episode of my smash-hit podcast – Cheyelle Omar: The Podigal Daughter – first. And then, last night, I watched the most fantastic documentary about assisted suicide, on BBC iPlayer. The documentary was called Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die. Seriously, get into it; it was absolutely fascinating. Then, between: swimming (I've traded in my armbands for a life jacket, pictured below), movie watching, eating, sleeping, grocery shopping, jogging, walking, and picking up my dogs’ shit – the time has flown by.
I dunno what’s wrong with me lately? I just don’t feel like writing. I’ve been enjoying pissin' in the ocean and lizard watching. There's lots of cute little lizards in the vicinity of this apartment and I'm finding them rather bewitching. I spend most of my time trying to catch one (don’t worry, once I've achieved my yen I’ll let the little critter go…unharmed). A big shout-out to McCaffery who emailed me to – amongst other things – tell me to just post the pictures of the apartment already! LOLAnyway, here’s my new place…
Because I didn’t plan for this sojourn in France until the last minute, I had no idea, when I left Blighty, this would be where I’d end up calling home. I found out about this place the same morning I checked out of the hotel in Aix-en-Provence (my first morning in the South of France). I was really lucky to have landed it, but I didn’t see it that way at the time…The apartment is a privately-owned residence on a Holiday Inn Resort. So living here kinda makes me feel like a fat, Arab, podcasting Alan Partridge (I'm Alan Partridge is a British comedy about the trials and tribulations of a mediocre, middle-aged, radio host called Alan Partridge who is – for reasons that escape me right now – living in a hotel, out of season). Put it this way, this place is hardly the authentic Provençal adventure I'd anticipated!
When I first got here I really did question whether the place was beneath me. It reminded me of where poor people come to holiday (it’s alright, I can say that – I used to be one). As God is my witness, if it weren’t for the fact I knew there was a hardworking family of four from Bolton just gegging to be in my flip-flops, and that I had nowhere else to stay, I might not have given the place a chance.
The day I arrived the skies were leaden, which only served to accentuate in making the area look duller than Father Christmas's bellend (I'm guessing). The local supermarket (pictured, right) was holding a jumble sale/rummage sale in its car park, and on the other side of the resort I noticed a rather large boatyard. I remember thinking: Oh, for fuck’s sake! I must be the only sand nigger in history that got to the Cote d’Azur via a 2-bed, 3-bath penthouse in the United Kingdom who ended up living between a boat wash and a car boot. Then there was the issue of French people not picking up their dogs’ shit; the local park looked like the paintballers had been in town, except all the paintballs were one colour – Dog Chow BROWN!! Not to mention that the apartment is so close to Nice Airport they might as well sell duty-free in the lobby and deliver hot towels to your vagina-sized kitchen.
But, despite my initial misgivings, over time, the place has grown on me (planes and all). The large terrace, the jacuzzi bath, the sea views and the location right on the promenade more than makes up for my initial reservations…oh, and the fact the rent is only €800 a month is a real turn on, too. I move out at the beginning of July, but as beachside living goes, the experience has been a good one.
–Cheyelle
But, despite my initial misgivings, over time, the place has grown on me (planes and all). The large terrace, the jacuzzi bath, the sea views and the location right on the promenade more than makes up for my initial reservations…oh, and the fact the rent is only €800 a month is a real turn on, too. I move out at the beginning of July, but as beachside living goes, the experience has been a good one.
–Cheyelle
This post is dedicated to Peter Smedley & Andrew Colgan. Both men featured in the documentary Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die.
COPYRIGHT ©2011 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: CHEYELLE OMAR
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I love your dog looking in every window! Such a beautiful place and thank you so much for the tour. :)
ReplyDeleteNow where do you go at the beginning of July? I didn't know you were moving on...
xoxo...
McCaffery
LOL! "Duty Free and pass hot towels" Love it. Well sistah luv, I'm a poor person and while the place is clean looking I can see that it's small and understand your irritations. When I was street homeless it would've been a palace and it's quite out of my range at present moment. Then too, I've had some flush years (financially speaking) and I think in those times I would've been irritated at the fact that I was in the South of France residing in what looks like an American hotel junior suite. heheh! Glad you're now enjoying it and you're almost done with it anyway. ;-)
ReplyDelete@McCaffery: Hehehe… don't worry I'll keep you posted, my dear. Yeah, the apartment I really wanted to rent, on a 6-month contract, fell through. It was smaller than this one and in a bog-standard block of flats (further up the coast), but the area was less "touristy" and it had a HUGE terrace for my dogs. I took this one to tide me over till I could find somewhere more, well, French.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, it's all worked out for the best. In my experience, occasionally it can be a good thing when you don’t get what you want. :P
@Eccentricity: Basically you summed-up my entire misgivings about "resorts" in the penultimate sentence of your comment – thank you.
Like you, I’ve experienced penury. And while I will always have the identity of a “poor person” – regardless of how my stock’s doing – I like to make it crystal clear I DO KNOW the difference between what the rich folks get and what the poor folks are palmed-off with…even when, like now, my budget’s limited. It’s basically my way of saying: I ain’t no fool!
This post could’ve been deemed offensive on so many different levels, but you know I likes to keep it real. Thank you for not judging me (you too, McCaffery).
D'you remember how judgmental people were of you because you suggested "dumpster diving" was beneath you? I don’t know why, but people can get very uncomfortable when “poor folks” display a propensity for demanding certain standards (SMH). Even though we DID, when I was a child, eat products that had been procured from "dumpster diving", I really respected you (and your “mom”) for keeping it real and fighting your corner. You got standards, girl. x.
Rich or poor, you deserve to live in a place that calms your soul and rejuvenates your brill mind. Glad you have found a happy adjustment to this one, and glad to be on the adventure with you.
ReplyDeletePrevious post was from Joe BTW.
ReplyDelete^^^^
ReplyDeleteI learnt a very valuable lesson from this place, which has rather grown on me: Never judge a place till you've walked at least a mile down its promenade (in comfortable shoes!).
Thanks for walking with me, Joe. x.
LOL! Oh my G-d girl, yes I remember that blog very well; never did I stir up so much drama and I think it was only partly due to the fact that I expressed dumpster diving to be distateful. The part I believe to really have got under the skin of some is me holding that opinion while having been raised on welfare and my mother's refusal to eat the food from the dumpster brought to us by her nasty friend while using foodstamps to feed me. It was sort of a "How dare they!" vibe I felt going on. Not from everyone, though.
ReplyDeleteI remember this video being posted by someone in a reply:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HlFP-PMW6E&feature=related
While looking up the link to put here I ended up watching part of another documentary on Dumpster Diving which featured an experienced young woman taking her guy friend for his first outing. At the start he said he didn't consider dumpster diving to be disgusting, but then while they were doing it and the camera was on the female you could hear him in the background retching and puking. I was cracking up too! I bet he was always suddenly "busy" when she asked him again. lol! Camera came back on him and his eyes were all watery, meanwhile the woman was over there steady digging and was like "Look! Perfectly good muffins!" They were in some sort of loose sack and they showed her taking a bite. Bizarre. *Puke* In the same pile she found sausages to keep and other meats not to keep because she could tell they were bad already. You like your bakery goods coming from on top of a pile of spoiled meat? Dumpsters have that distinctive smell and they pile it all in there together.
As you said, people don't always take kindly to those in poverty having a standard of any kind.
^^^^
ReplyDeleteBrahahahahah! I'd love to see the documentary, if you have the URL?
One correction--the puking came AFTER the "perfectly good muffins" and they don't show it, but you can hear him back there. If you watch his face right before you can tell the man's about to be sick. lol! I really shouldn't laugh (LOL)...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZsnl1Ti9h8&feature=related
^^^^
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha – I nearly peed my pants! They was taking it proper serious, she had the headlamp and everything :D
Thanks for sharing. x.